So I have a somewhat shocking confession, until as recently as last month, I didn’t go shopping with other women. I was afraid to shop with them, even really close friends.
[Shirt – Old Navy ($10); Skirt – Torrid via Goodwill ($5); Flats – BCBG ($40); Sunnies – Target ($13)]
It started at some point in high school. I’m not sure exactly when, but at some point I became ashamed of the size clothes I wore. It was no longer about the fact that I couldn’t afford as many of the nice things my friends had, it was about the dreaded number on a tag. The same situation would repeat itself. I would be shopping with a friend, gathering items that looked like they were generously cut so I could at least try something on in the dressing room (even though I had no intention of buying since clothes from straight sized stores didn’t fit me). My well-meaning friend would squeal and hold something up, “This is SO you! What size are you? I’ll grab you one.” I swear it felt like every head in the store would turn my way as I tried to quietly mumble my size.
Then, when Bot and I moved to Atlanta, I did not really know anyone. I definitely didn’t know anyone enough to ask them to drive 45 minutes outside the city with me to a suburb mall to shop at the Torrid. Instead, I would drag the ever patient Bot with me as my shopping companion. And then at some point this became the norm. I never accepted invitations to shop with friends or if I did I would walk around without really shopping for myself. These practices continued even after I started this journey of self-acceptance, and even after I started this blog.
Then last month I went on two shopping adventures with other women! I’m not even sure what changed. I just wasn’t concerned anymore. I chatted about my size like it was nothing, like it was exactly what it is, just a number. This skirt is the result of one of those shopping excursions. My former coworkers and I visited our local Goodwill and while scouring the racks they found me this adorable Torrid skirt. I had no intention of looking for anything for myself, like usual, when they told me they had found a cute, pink, size 18 skirt. “That’s my size,” I declared loudly and after trying it on, we all agreed it was perfect. It was such a great day and I like this skirt so much, I think I’ll have to go shopping with other women again soon.