OOTD: And Then I Went Gardening

A weekend ago, Bot and I traveled south down 95 to our friend Jess’s house to hang out and set up for the hootenanny we threw this past weekend.  Jess was wonderful and offered to host the shindig at her house so Bot and I went down to see how we could help set up early. I thought we’d be cutting out paper flags, maybe arranging candles around her house, but instead we did some gardening and, as usual, I did not dress appropriately.

[Shirt – Torrid ($35ish); Tripp NYC Black Skinny Jeans – Torrid ($45); Sandals -Impo (bought forever ago)]

To be fair, this outfit actually worked really well for gardening. My skinny jeans are so stretchy that digging up a back yard and planting grass seed again was super easy.  I did have to kick off my heeled sandals but gardening is no fun if you can’t squish some dirt between your toes.

This is probably the Swan song for this Torrid shirt. It is one of my favorite items I’ve ever bought from them.  Not only is it the cutest ditzy, flower print but it is also a light poplin material so it’s nice and cool during the summer. I wore this constantly in Atlanta, which is probably why the shirt is so dingy looking now, too many washings. I’m glad this shirt got to make an appearance on my blog before its retirement because it was one of the first pieces of clothing that made me think that I could actually be fashionable some day.

As for the gardening, it went really well. The hootenanny was a success too but I’ll have more on that later this week.

Fashion Confession: I Don’t Shop with Other Women

So I have a somewhat shocking confession, until as recently as last month, I didn’t go shopping with other women.  I was afraid to shop with them, even really close friends.

[Shirt – Old Navy ($10); Skirt – Torrid via Goodwill ($5); Flats – BCBG ($40); Sunnies – Target ($13)]

It started at some point in high school.  I’m not sure exactly when, but at some point I became ashamed of the size clothes I wore.  It was no longer about the fact that I couldn’t afford as many of the nice things my friends had, it was about the dreaded number on a tag.  The same situation would repeat itself.  I would be shopping with a friend, gathering items that looked like they were generously cut so I could at least try something on in the dressing room (even though I had no intention of buying since clothes from straight sized stores didn’t fit me).  My well-meaning friend would squeal and hold something up, “This is SO you! What size are you? I’ll grab you one.” I swear it felt like every head in the store would turn my way as I tried to quietly mumble my size.

Then, when Bot and I moved to Atlanta, I did not really know anyone. I definitely didn’t know anyone enough to ask them to drive 45 minutes outside the city with me to a suburb mall to shop at the Torrid.  Instead, I would drag the ever patient Bot with me as my shopping companion.  And then at some point this became the norm.  I never accepted invitations to shop with friends or if I did I would walk around without really shopping for myself.  These practices continued even after I started this journey of self-acceptance, and even after I started this blog.

Then last month I went on two shopping adventures with other women! I’m not even sure what changed. I just wasn’t concerned anymore. I chatted about my size like it was nothing, like it was exactly what it is, just a number.  This skirt is the result of one of those shopping excursions. My former coworkers and I visited our local Goodwill and while scouring the racks they found me this adorable Torrid skirt. I had no intention of looking for anything for myself, like usual, when they told me they had found a cute, pink, size 18 skirt. “That’s my size,” I declared loudly and after trying it on, we all agreed it was perfect.  It was such a great day and I like this skirt so much, I think I’ll have to go shopping with other women again soon.

Kiyonna, A Love Story

This is a love story that started quite a long time ago. I had been watching Kiyonna’s clothing from a far; I looked, I lusted and fell in love. Then something magical happened – Kiyonna had a 50% off sale. So last October, I finally splurged and bought two Kiyonna dresses, but it took me months to wear them. (I wore the other dress to the Met Opera a few months ago.)

[Jemma Ruched Dress – Kiyonna ($54); Camisole – Old Navy ($10ish); Heels – Calvin Klein via Nordstrom Rack ($70); Necklace – Lia Sophia (?)]

I haven’t been feeling that great about myself lately.  Self-acceptance/ self-love is a journey and sometimes you are at a high point and sometimes low.  Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m stuck in a valley and when it came time for Bot and I to get ready to go meet our friends for drinks on Friday night I was ready to cancel. Then Bot gave me the saddest puppy dog eyes ever and I headed to my closet to find something to wear.  I pulled out my Jemma Ruched Dress by Kiyonna, that I had yet to wear, and decided that since it was Memorial day it was thus totally appropriate to wear a bright red, vintage inspired dress. No exaggeration, the minute I put on this dress my day changed. Why did it take me so long to wear this amazing, beautiful, mood-altering dress? To me, this is what plus-size fashion should do, make you feel absolutely beautiful even on days when your self-confidence is at it lowest.

I was day-dreaming about this dress yesterday as Bot and I drove an hour north to go apartment hunting in Maryland. Really, I cannot say enough great things about it. The quality of it is amazing: fully lined, well made, beautifully cut and best of all, it fits me perfectly!  I have so many items in my closet that I bought because they were cheep and they kinda worked.  Yet, with most of those clothes, I’m severely limited: one top can only be worn with a high-waist skirt because it doesn’t fit on my stomach or another has to always be worn with a jacket or sweater because the armholes are too large and show my bra.  But this Kiyonna dress fit like it was tailor-made for me.

As we are driving, Bot and I were discussing the dress and it’s amazing ability to completely shift my mood and I shouted, “Why do I have anything else in my closet? I should own all of their clothes!”  Bot reminded me of one of my first blog posts when I wrote, “I am a firm believer that wardrobe essentials are worth spending extra precious dollars on because you will wear them again and again.  So consider these things carefully when you purchase- don’t be fooled by inexpensive items, because one day they might be sitting in your closet with their price tag still on.” The truth is that Kiyonna’s clothing is a bit expensive for me.  I have to save up for and splurge on their pieces.  (Their dresses are normally around $100 and their separates around $50.) But knowing how this dress fits and feels, that is exactly what I am going to do.  Plus they have a great sale section and often have holiday sales (like right now when you get 25% off for Memorial day.)

All Dressed Up with No Where to Go

Every once in a while I put together an outfit that I think is just perfect. I finally manage to accessorize or wear an item that I had been hiding in my closet and it makes me feel great.  This was one such outfit, too bad I didn’t have anywhere to go.

[Jacket – Torrid (Xmas Gift); Shirt – City Chic ($13); Skirt – ASOS ($15?); Tights – We Love Colors (Xmas Gift); Heels – Madden Girl ($30); Purse – Marc by Marc Jacobs (Bday Gift from Bot); Scarf – Urban Outfitters (borrowed from Mom)]

I bought this skirt from ASOS over a year ago when I was living in Atlanta.  I had just found out about ASOS Curve and was desperate to buy some of their fashion forward plus size options.  Then I saw this post by Nat and I fell in love with the lace dress and decided to buy it right away.  I also threw this black linen pencil skirt in my order as well because it was on sale for a steal and I thought, why not?  But then when the skirt arrived I was less than thrilled.  It hugged my curves as a pencil skirt should but I wasn’t as comfortable with myself at that time so it sat in my closet.  (I probably should have returned it but we all know how terrible I am about remembering to return things within the proper time frame.)  Then I put this skirt on earlier this month when I was cleaning out my closet and was amazed at how much I loved this skirt.  It had been over a year since I had first put on this skirt and, well, what a difference a year can make.  Not in my size, but in my mentality.  Now I love the way the skirt hugs my curves, and I even tucked in my favorite City Chic shirt to highlight the skirt’s high waist.  I’ve come a long way and I’m rather proud of myself.  It doesn’t hurt that I think I look fabulous in this outfit.

It Is Time to Embrace Sweater Weather

I have a love hate relationship with sweaters. Well, that’s not entirely true. I love sweaters.  I always choose warm, cuddly soft, knits that feel like hugs, and until I looked at these pictures, I never questioned my sweater love.  Then I looked at the photos that Bot had taken and all I could see was how the sweater clung to and accentuated my stomach.

[Jeggings – Old Navy ($10); Sweater – Worthington, J.C. Penny (bought forever ago); Jacket – Lane Bryant ($75); Shoes – Miz Mooz Oxfords ($50); Purse – Marshall’s ($25); Scarf – Florence Street Vendor (15 euros); Bracelet – Grandmother’s Costume Jewelry; Necklace – Made by Me; Earrings – SERRV ($25ish?)]

At first I thought about only posting the second photo, where my purse is covering my “offending” stomach, but that is not what this blog is about.  Its a journey, to be fashionable for one thing, but also to learn to love myself. And lets be honest, my stomach is not offensive, nor would it “disappear” under a more loose sweater. Its all about loving what you have and there are a lot of things that I love about this outfit.

This jacket, for starters, is one of my absolute favorites.  It was a very big purchase for me at $75 but I’ve worn it for a good 3 to 4 years and its still going strong.  Present day Mel probably wouldn’t have bought this piece.  The jacket is unlined, which means that I have to be careful when I take it off since it looks rather sloppy with its exposed seams and shoulder pads.  Also the hem on the sleeves unraveled within the first month of owning it (and I have still not resown it.) But since younger Mel didn’t think about jacket linings, I have been reaping the rewards for over three years.  It has been my go to jacket for spring, fall and even cool summer nights.

This purse was a happy, cheap find at Marshall’s but with a bit of an incident. I had a different, but exactly the same, purse in my hands and then I suddenly changed it for this one thinking it was less scratched up. Unfortunately, I didn’t check to make sure it had all of its pieces, like the longer shoulder strap, before I bought it. When I arrived home I noticed the extreme lack of strap and promptly put the purse back in my car to be returned and there it sat for 4 months, well past the allowable return deadline.  These are the woes that fill my shopping life. I have a tendency to not return things by the given deadline and I’m stuck with them and out the money. Luckily for me, my brother had an almost matching shoulder strap which he gave me to use and now I have a new purse.

The moral of this post? Always love yourself and make sure that you actually return things ON TIME.

Words of Wisdom from the Ladies of my Past

My husband’s birthday was this week and the family went out to dinner to celebrate.  We went to Ruffino’s Spaghetti House because Italian food is Bot’s favorite and with a name like “Spaghetti House” it was sure to impress.  The food was absolutely amazing!  I wore my City Chic Flutter Heart Dress because when I showed it to my husband when it first arrived he said he liked it more than any other dress I’ve bought, which is high praise if you knew how many dresses are currently in my closet.

[Dress – City Chic; Earrings – Sailor Studios; Necklace – Made by Me; Shoes – Target]

I love the 1940s style of this dress.  I’m not sure if the style of it suits me well but it is so comfortable.  It reminds me of something my grandmothers would wear and it got me thinking about my fabulous grandmothers and the advice that they gave me.  I used to complain about my size to my grandmother Doris (whom I called Nana.) I don’t actually remember any of the complaints but I remember her response.  She told me that when she was growing up, she was a bean pole and being a bean pole was not fashionable.  No, curvy was the style of the day when you were a teenager in late 1930s.  You always want what you don’t have, she told me.  My grandma taught me to love everyone, including myself.

My grandmother Barbara Jean (Mawmaw) well, she never gave me any advice per say, she more lived by example.  She loved to shop! (love, Love, LOVED!) She was always, all about looking fashionable even though her family never had that much money.  I mostly remember her fabulous red jackets and more “grandma-esque” clothes.  After she passed away last year, the family went through old photos of her and shared memories and I have to say my grandmother was hot! She had curves and boy did she rock them.

There are so many things I wish I could have talked to them about now and I wish that I could have rifled through their closets 20 – 30 years ago. But I will always remember what they taught me.

A young Nana at summer camp

Mawmaw in all her curves.

Just Another Fatshion Blog

I know, I know, another fashion blog, who really cares right? Well, I did, about eight months ago when I was a struggling, self-loathing graduate student and I stumbled across the fatshion (fat fashion) blogging community. It was an epiphany, something which I studied a lot as an art history major, a sudden revelation. I could be fat and not hate myself for it. I could be fat and take pride in what I was wearing. I know, like I said, I’m not reinventing the wheel here but it was revolutionary for me. As I tried to explain to my husband after a few days of constant blog reading, it never occurred to me before that I could love myself as I am without needing to be thin, without needing to be perfect.

So here I am – discovering a multitude of new shopping and fashion choices that were, apparently, open to me this whole time. There is of course, a catch:  I am living on a modest barista income and so my outfit choices have to be frugal as well as trendy. After months of watching from the sidelines, I’ve decided to join the conversation. These curves brew a mean cup of coffee and have been known to rock a killer outfit too.